Another dark night

My head throbs with pain, from this knowing torture
My eyes are swollen from endless weeping

I take a deep breath in, causing the sobbing to cease
Yet the tears continue to stream down my face

It takes every once of energy to move my hands toward my face
I press hard agents my cheeks trying to obtain some sort of feeling

I lay and cry as I feel time wasting away
I cannot bear the thought of facing yet another day

There is no end to this pain…..
My heart continues to bleed

Sometimes I wish the blood was real
Speaking truth to invisible turmoil……

I pull my legs up toward my chest
And wrap my arms around my shoulders

I try to imagine love
Someone holding me

Torturous Song

The words continue to echo in my mind… Oh how he loves me, oh how he loves me, oh how he loves me.
I just sat their as still as silence, trying to contain myself.
The words were like a vacuum, sucking the life right out of me.
It was so painful, yet I could not leave.
I just stared off into space, wondering if things would ever be ok again.
They kept repeated the words over and over and over……...
Each time my heart growing heavier and my soul becoming more hopeless.
Something within me seemed to scream in objection.
If only it were true, if only he really did want me…………………
Then the tears came and I buried my face in my hands.
I wanted to voice the torture, I wanted to scream and weep and bang my fists upon the floor.
But I couldn’t.
I cant!

I just contiue to smile

Beautiful Ashes Collage